Rich, Famous, and Seven Years Younger

I had not originally planned to visit Ethiopia. When I booked my ticket from Tanzania to Egypt on Ethiopian Airlines I had to change planes in Addis Ababa. The travel agent said that I could stay in Ethiopia for as long as I wanted with no extra charge. I didn't know much about the place so I just decided to stay for a week. When I arrived and got my hands on a guidebook that read "The bounty of northern Ethiopia's historical African treasures is only rivalled by that of Egypt's" I changed my ticket so that I could stay for three weeks.

Ethiopia was more than I ever expected. It was the only country in Africa to escape colonization. There was a brief period of time where Italy occupied but was never able to conquer. However, they were successful in leaving behind spaghetti on every menu. Because there were so few outside influences on the culture, Ethiopia is very unique. The food, landscape, music, dance, alphabet, and dress are all different from anything I've encountered in Africa.

Let's start with the food. My worried mother sent me an e-mail to ask if I was eating enough in the famine-prone country. My answer was "Yes! I've been eating like a king!" Most meals are a stew-like creation (wot) poured over a type of bread that resembles a pancake (injera) and of course, eaten with your hands (remember we're in Africa). For some reason Ethiopians really seem to enjoy raw meat. Don't worry, I didn't try it. Maybe one of the reasons I liked the food in Ethiopia was that it was so cheap. It's a strange experience sitting down to dinner with fellow travelers at the best restaurant in town, looking at the menu and saying "whew, this place is expensive" when there's nothing over four dollars on the menu. "What the heck, I feel like splurging today. I'll have the $3.50 steak dinner, please." It was then that I found out what it feels like to be rich.

Not only was the the food in Ethiopia delicious but everything I ate was organic and free-range (free to roam in front of oncoming traffic would be a more accurate label). This is a side effect of the subsistence agriculture that many Ethiopians live on. I absolutely loved the juice cafes. You could get a large glass of thick organic juice layered with mango, avocado (don't knock it until you've tried it) and papaya. There's also pineapple, strawberry, orange and banana to try. There's also a weird wine (if you want to call it that) made from honey that was...well I guess I would call it interesting. Not only is Ethiopia the birthplace of mankind (it's where Lucy was found) but it's also the birthplace of coffee. Coffee grows wild in many places. I've witnesses several traditional coffee ceremonies where a woman roasts, grounds, and brews the coffee right in front of your eyes. And nothing goes better with coffee than a delicious pastry (so many to choose from!) served in a cafe with the music of Bob Marley (Reggae has its origins in Ethiopia too) streaming through the air.

OK, so the food was delicious but getting around was quite a hassle. Ethiopia has a landscape that reminds me of an older, faded Arizona. There were parts that looked almost exactly like the Grand Canyon. I took many bone-rattling, nail-biting bus rides on dusty, dirt roads going right up to the tops of mountains. The scary part was that there were no guard rails. I just shut my eyes for those parts. The worst part was that Ethiopians don't like to have the windows open. It was pretty bad in other parts of Africa but Ethiopians live in the desert! They would rather wipe their brows, hand out barf bags and suck on lemons than crack a window. Even if I tried to open mine just a little someone would reach over and politely shut it for me. And there are no rest stops in Africa. The bus stops on the side of the road and everyone gets out to do their business on the side of the road. There are sometimes even bushes to go behind if you're lucky.

One time, as I was contemplating whether it was better to have a dry mouth or a full bladder, the barely-functioning bus that I was on inevitablely broke down for a third time. We had to wait for a new bus because the problem couldn't be fixed. Everyone got out to sit on the side of the road. I started to think about Snickers because I was having one of those "not going anywhere for a while" moments. But hey, why bother with candy when you can just have sugar cane? Which someone handed over to me to try. It's very hard to eat.

But anyway, it was the day before Easter. I had already celebrated Easter back in Zimbabwe but didn't mind celebrating again. Apparently the thing to do is tie a piece of grass around your head which my fellow riders were able to convince me to do. I was something of an oddity to them and they kept bringing me food and asking me questions. Oh, and the other thing that I noticed people doing was tying a live goat to the top of their cars so that they could have it for Easter dinner. I kind of figured it was Africa's version of take-out food. In the end my story has a happy ending because I got a ride from a group of engineering students who were on a tour of their country. They had a talent show near the end of the ride using the microphone that they found at the front of the bus. Of course being the ferengi (foreigner), I was forced to perform and most of you know how wonderful I am at karaoke!

One of the more appealing things about Ethiopia is that tourism is in its infancy. You can feel like the only tourist for miles. There was one time when I was very aware of this. I was in an SUV going over some really rough, muddy roads. I saw that Land Cruiser do moves I never thought possible. We eventually came up to this bridge that was blocked by a bus and a truck. Their sides had hit each other and could not be moved off the bridge until someone came by to determine who's fault it was. Meanwhile, there was another truck off to the left that had attempted to cross the stream without the bridge but was hopelessly stuck. Well, other people had to get through and someone had an idea to put all the rocks in the water to make a road for people to cross. Since there were tons of people standing around they all helped to move the rocks and dig out some dirt to help a few vehicles get across. Meanwhile, I was standing off to the side and casually looked to my right. There was a solid wall of at least thirty pairs of eyes staring at me. I guess they had never seen a ferengi before! One kid just couldn't take his eyes off me no matter where I stood. I thought to myself "this must be what it feels like to be famous." After a few attempts and a lot of pushing the Land Rover made it over to the other side and we were on our way. I don't know if I am more impressed that they would keep the bridge blocked like they did or that so many people worked together to get some people across. I know that back home if something like that happened there would be a lot of people standing around complaining.

There aren't a lot of tourists in Ethiopia but there is certainly lots to see. Ethiopia used to be home to a very prosperous ancient civilization. I visited lots of historic places with the most famous being the rock-hewn churches of Lalibela. The churches were built around the same time as the medieval cathedrals in Europe but are unique in that they were each carved completely out of one piece of rock. The best part of exploring the area was daring each other to not turn on a flashlight in the pitch-black tunnels connecting the churches. There's not a whole lot protecting you from hurting yourself. There are no railings protecting you from a steep fall over the edge or anything to keep you from slipping on the well-worn narrow staircases. It was quite an adventure in a land without lawsuits. By the same token, there's not that much protecting the churches. There are awnings protecting some of the sites but the guards had no problem when people climb on stuff. I also visited some island monasteries in Bahir Dar. The priests come out and flip through a 900-year old illuminated manuscript to show you the pages. The books are well-worn because they still use them every day. The other town that I visited was Aksum. There are lots of tombs and palace ruins to see. When I visited they were in the process of re-erecting a stele that they had just gotten back from the Italians.

Ethiopia is a little behind on things, not just Easter celebrations. In Ethiopia it's the year 2000. Happy new millennium! Their clock also starts six hours behind ours. It's because they start their clock when the sun rises. It rises and sets at basically the same time every day so their one a.m. is our six a.m.

I liked all the tradition, pride and little quirks that Ethiopians have. They dance by violently shaking their shoulders. Their hair looks fit for prom. Their gasp at the end of a sentence means that they agree with you. I was sad to leave such a fun and adventurous country but now I've started a new challenge: Egypt. I've learned that walking like an Egyptian means stepping out into oncoming traffic and bravely making your way across. So far I've only been able to shadow other people doing it but I know one day I'll get it. I've already been to see the pyramids and they're everything I've always imagined they would be. Today I went to the Egyptian museum and had mummy overload. That place is huge and filled to the brim! I've signed up for a one-week tour of other sites along the Nile. I'll let everyone know how it goes when I get back to Cairo!